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Author:
Joyces Choices
Joyce Kulhawik, best known as the Emmy Award-winning arts and entertainment critic for CBS-Boston (WBZ-TV 1981-2008), is currently lending her expertise as an arts critic/advocate, motivational speaker, and cancer crusader. Kulhawik is President of the Boston Theater Critics Association, a member of the Boston Society of Film Critics, and Boston Online Film Critics Association. Kulhawik has covered local and national events from Boston and Broadway to Hollywood, reporting live from the Oscars, the Emmys, and the Grammys. Nationally, Kulhawik has co-hosted syndicated movie-review programs with Roger Ebert and Leonard Maltin. Look for her arts & entertainment reviews online at JoycesChoices.com
Comments:
What a time, what a year. I wanted to let everyone who follows my
site know that my mother Alice Kulhawik passed away this week peacefully
overnight in her sleep at the age of 92. She died on the solstice, the
first day of fall, a time of transition.
I saw her just the week before, and though she couldn’t quite place who I
was, I had her smiling by the end of the visit and she didn’t want to
leave the familiar stranger with the mask and dark curly hair to go back
to her room. She had been suffering with dementia for many years and at
that last visit and perhaps for the first time, she may not have
recognized me or what my calling her “mom” meant.
I will tell you what it meant to me. My mother more than anyone had
the most profound effect on my life. She was a full-time working mom, as
was her mother, both women of and ahead of their times. My mother also
did the cooking and shopping and cleaning (with my help– which I still
love doing to this day!) She and my dad worked HARD. They were devoted
to family. My mom especially introduced us to fine food, fashion, the
arts– ballet, music, movies, theater. She made our home beautiful. She
adored all animals. She loved anyone and anything Italian. She was
dramatic, loved celebrations, parades, spectacle, had big enthusiasms,
was opinionated and outspoken. She’d challenge anyone– doctors,
teachers, town hall — which is where she finally took our trash one day
when they had stopped picking up our garbage. She was the one who told
me to quit a job I didn’t like and go out and find another one. I did.
She had more confidence in me than I had in myself– and that gave me
confidence. She and my dad raised me and my brother Richard to the same
standard and that was revolutionary.
Many of you in the arts community may remember that she often
accompanied me on special assignments. She always went to JULY 4rth on
the Esplanade. She was there in the audience when I emceed the annual
Elliot Norton Awards and as I peeked out from behind the curtain before
the show, I cracked up when I spotted her in the audience hugging Al
Pacino– our special guest that evening! I remember the year I snuck her
onto the red carpet at the OSCARS– I gave her a clip board and told her
to blend in with the international press corps of still
photographers-who instantly befriended her. When security came by
checking ID’s, one photog named Fabrizio from Italy immediately said,
“She’s with us.” I still can’t believe we pulled that off.
My mom had one special request: she wanted THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE
REPUBLIC sung at her funeral. We are not sure when we will be able to
gather for a service, but when we do, we will sing the strains of that
rousing tune, lyrics composed by abolitionist Julia Ward Howe,
propelling the Union to war. I had no idea just how timely that hymn
would be now as our union is again tested and we fight to hold it
together. As I honor my mother who always stood by me, I am encouraged
and propelled by her love, her example, and relentless energy to move
forward.
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9/26/2020